Understanding Stress & Conflict in Healthcare

jeremy

Welcome back, everyone! Today, we’re taking a step back from our autism-focused discussions to explore something that cuts across all areas of healthcare—a topic that, honestly, affects everyone.

Jock

Stress and conflict, right?

jeremy

Exactly. It's... well, it's the reality of healthcare. Whether you're dealing with a frustrated patient, an overwhelmed colleague, or handling an escalating situation, stress is always there, lurking in the background.

Jock

Yeah, and it’s like, in those moments you really see the cracks, don’t you? Those split-second decisions can either make or break the situation.

jeremy

Absolutely. But, you know, understanding how we as humans react to stress and conflict is key—not just for making better decisions but also for de-escalating those situations before they spiral out of control.

Jock

And the thing is, it’s not just academic, is it? Like, it’s real life. These are the things healthcare providers face every single day.

jeremy

Right. And the challenge is, you’ve got to balance that emotional aspect with the practical—

Jock

Which is hard!

jeremy

It is. But that’s exactly why we’re tackling it today—to break it down and, hopefully, give our listeners some tools to navigate those tricky moments.

jeremy

Speaking of navigating tricky moments, it’s worth highlighting someone who’s truly changed the game in this field—Ryan Dunlap.

Jock

The conflict guy, right?

jeremy

Exactly. He’s a conflict strategist, a leadership coach, and has years of experience as a law enforcement officer. His specialty? De-escalation and crisis management. And that’s no small feat, especially in high-stakes environments.

Jock

Yeah, I mean, the amount of pressure, the... adrenaline in those situations—it’s gotta be intense. And you’re saying he’s managed to turn that experience into, like, a framework for handling conflict?

jeremy

Spot on. What makes Dunlap fascinating is how he bridges those high-pressure law enforcement scenarios with what we deal with in healthcare. He essentially teaches people how to stay calm, read the room, and guide everyone to a better resolution. It’s all about understanding the psychology behind conflict.

Jock

Which is genius, when you think about it. I mean, so many of those basic principles—like, staying calm under pressure—are exactly what you need, whether you’re dealing with a combative patient or, honestly, just a colleague having a bad day.

jeremy

Right. And it’s not just instinct—it's learned. Dunlap’s approach is about developing those skills intentionally, so you're ready for anything that comes your way.

Jock

Okay, so Jeremy, you mentioned understanding the psychology behind conflict—what’s actually happening in the brain when we’re faced with it?

jeremy

Well, when the brain detects a threat, whether it's physical or emotional, it goes into what we call 'fight, flight, or freeze' mode. The amygdala, this small almond-shaped part of the brain, hijacks the system. It’s basically shouting, ‘Danger ahead!’

Jock

I like how you make it sound like the brain is running around in panic mode.

jeremy

Ha, well, it sort of is. The amygdala triggers a surge of adrenaline and cortisol, prepping the body to react. Your heart pounds, your breathing quickens—all of it designed to help you survive. But here’s the catch: when the amygdala does this, it kind of overrides the prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for rational thinking.

Jock

So, we’re not thinking clearly at all in those moments?

jeremy

Not exactly. The prefrontal cortex is still there—trying—but the amygdala is just louder. It’s why people lash out or freeze up during conflict. They’re acting on instinct rather than logic.

Jock

Right, which... honestly explains a lot of arguments, doesn’t it?

jeremy

Exactly. And in healthcare, where emotions and stakes are already heightened, this response can escalate quickly. If you’re not aware of this process, you might react in ways that amplify the conflict instead of de-escalating it.

Jock

Okay, but here’s my question—how do we stop that, you know? Like, how do we press pause on the amygdala’s takeover?

jeremy

Great question. It’s not easy, but it is possible. Techniques like controlled breathing or focusing on a specific, grounding task can help. Essentially, you’re giving your cortex a chance to step in and regain control.

Jock

So, deep breaths aren’t just for yoga. They’re legit brain hacks?

jeremy

Absolutely. By slowing your breathing, you signal to your brain that the threat isn’t as immediate, and that helps tamp down the stress response.

Jock

Which makes sense. I mean, it’s like tricking your brain into backing off. Simple, but clever.

jeremy

Exactly. And understanding this process is the first step to mastering it, especially in high-pressure environments like healthcare.

jeremy

Building on what we discussed about the brain’s reaction to stress, let’s look at why conflicts in emergency settings escalate so quickly. One major reason is cognitive overload. You’ve got a situation where things are moving fast—too fast—and people are being pulled in a million directions at once. It’s overwhelming, and when that happens, the brain has to make shortcuts.

Jock

Yeah, it’s like, instead of carefully thinking things through, your decisions become kinda knee-jerk. Right?

jeremy

Exactly. Decision-making becomes reactive instead of thoughtful. And you know, in an emergency setting, that can mean jumping to conclusions, snapping at a colleague, or even escalating a conflict without realizing it.

Jock

And the stakes are so high already. Add pressure to the mix and... boom, tempers flare.

jeremy

Right. Cognitive overload doesn’t just make you more impulsive—it also impacts your ability to listen properly. You’re not hearing the full context, and that makes misunderstandings more likely. It's a cascade effect.

Jock

So, it’s not just about what’s happening in the moment but how your brain is processing—or, well, failing to process—everything around you?

jeremy

Exactly. Combine that with the heightened emotions of everyone involved—patients, family members, staff—it’s a powder keg. And here’s the kicker: none of it is intentional. It’s just the brain trying to cope with overload.

Jock

Which makes sense. Like, no one wakes up saying, “Today I’m gonna lose it with a coworker!” It just... happens.

jeremy

Exactly. But understanding that this is how the brain reacts—both ours and others’—gives us a bit of a roadmap to spot the signs and slow things down before conflict escalates.

Jock

But spotting those signs in the middle of the chaos? Honestly, easier said than done.

jeremy

No doubt. It takes awareness and, frankly, practice. But the good news is, there are strategies to manage it—not just prevent the escalation but actually de-escalate when things are already heated.

jeremy

So yeah, as tricky as it is to spot those signs and manage escalation in the heat of the moment, it’s not impossible. That’s where strategies come in. Ryan Dunlap, who we’ve talked about before, teaches some really effective techniques for de-escalation. One of his key approaches is what he calls the ‘power of pause.’

Jock

The power of pause? Sounds... philosophical or, I don’t know, like a self-help mantra?

jeremy

it does a bit. But it’s actually really practical. It’s the idea that, instead of reacting immediately in a conflict, you take that split second to just... stop. You stop yourself from speaking, reacting, anything. And in that pause, you give your brain—

Jock

Time to catch up?

jeremy

Exactly. It’s a way to counteract that amygdala hijack we talked about. In that moment, you can interrupt your instinctive reaction and instead respond with intention. Ryan calls it creating a 'mental space' where better decisions are possible.

Jock

Which is genius, but—here’s my question—isn’t it easier said than done? Like, when you’re in the thick of it, pausing feels almost... impossible.

jeremy

You’re totally right. It’s not intuitive at all, especially when emotions are running high. But it’s about building the habit over time. Dunlap actually recommends practicing in low-stakes situations first.

Jock

Like when your Wi-Fi cuts out and you’re about to scream at the router?

jeremy

Exactly. Or when someone cuts you off in traffic. Those everyday frustrations are perfect practice grounds. The more you do it there, the more it becomes second nature when it really counts—like in a high-stress scenario in healthcare.

Jock

And I guess the pause also gives you a chance to pick your words more carefully? Like, avoiding the whole 'saying something you instantly regret' thing?

jeremy

That’s exactly it. Pausing isn’t just about calming yourself—it’s about assessing the situation from a clearer headspace. Dunlap says that often, just by pausing, you can completely change the trajectory of the conversation.

Jock

So, the pause really isn’t passive at all, is it? It’s, like, active waiting. Strategic.

jeremy

Spot on. You’re creating control in a situation that often feels out of control. And when you use that pause effectively, you can actually de-escalate things before they get out of hand.

Jock

Okay, but what happens if the other person doesn’t pause? Like, they keep yelling or escalating. Then what?

jeremy

Good question. Dunlap actually talks about using your pause to regulate your tone and your choice of words. By staying calm yourself, you can sort of anchor the conversation. If you don’t react, you’re not feeding into their escalation.

Jock

Right, so instead of going down that spiral together, you’re like, ‘Nope, staying here on solid ground.’

jeremy

Exactly. And this is where the power of pause is really transformative. It’s not about ignoring the conflict; it’s about controlling your part in it.

Jock

That’s powerful. Honestly, kind of life-changing when you think about it.

Jock

Alright, so if we take this power of pause idea into a real-life situation, say we’ve got a parent of an autistic child who’s been waiting—forever, it feels like—and they start shouting at the triage nurse. The nurse, already swamped and probably feeling defensive, snaps back, and now it’s a full-on shouting match. Security’s called. What do we do with that?

jeremy

It’s a layered problem, isn’t it? First, you've got the parent’s frustration, which may feel entirely justified to them. Hours of waiting, their child possibly struggling to cope—it’s an emotional storm. But then there’s the nurse. They’re juggling patients, short on time, and possibly feeling unappreciated or overwhelmed.

Jock

Yeah, a total recipe for disaster. I mean, you can kind of see how both sides are just... reacting, right?

jeremy

Exactly. And what’s really happening here is a clash of unmet needs and unexpressed emotions. The parent needs understanding, reassurance—more than just an apology. Meanwhile, the nurse needs to feel respected and supported in their role. When neither gets that, it escalates quickly.

Jock

So, the frustration just feeds on itself. Kind of like a, uh, vicious circle?

jeremy

Right. And unless someone actively steps in to break that cycle, things keep spiraling. But here’s the thing—conflict like this rarely resolves without intervention. Someone has to disrupt that escalation pattern.

Jock

Okay, but realistically, how do you do that in all the chaos? Like, security's already involved at this point.

jeremy

Good question. It starts with understanding the emotional drivers at play. For the parent, it might be fear or feeling powerless over their child’s situation. For the nurse, the root could be stress or, honestly, pure exhaustion. Recognizing those emotions allows you to address the real problem, not just the symptoms.

Jock

So, it’s not just about calming people down but, like, stepping into their shoes for a second?

jeremy

Exactly. Empathy is key, but it goes beyond that. Effective intervention means staying calm yourself first. If you’re escalating emotionally, you can't help anyone de-escalate. It’s that whole idea of 'be the calm in the storm.'

Jock

Alright, but what does that actually look like? What’s step one?

jeremy

Well, step one is to pause and assess. What’s happening in the moment? Who’s feeling what? And crucially, who can you address right now to ease the tension? With the parent, for instance, making eye contact, lowering your voice, and simply saying, ‘I can see you’re frustrated. Let me help,’ can go a long way.

Jock

Which sounds so simple, but honestly, I bet most people would instead jump straight to defending themselves.

jeremy

Right. And that’s the trap. Defensiveness only fuels the fire. The real skill here, and it is a skill, is staying non-reactive. In Dunlap’s terms, it’s using that power of pause we talked about—resetting yourself before responding.

Jock

Okay, but what about the nurse? Do you pause there too, or is it different?

jeremy

It’s a bit different. With the nurse, you’ve also got to validate their feelings—privately, if possible. Saying something like, ‘I know you’re under a lot of pressure, and this situation is tough,’ can help de-escalate their side of things too. It’s about diffusing the tension step-by-step.

Jock

So, you’re almost working on two fronts—calming the parent while reassuring the nurse. That sounds... exhausting.

jeremy

It absolutely can be. Which is why self-awareness and emotional control are so critical in these moments. But with practice and a few key strategies, it becomes more natural over time.

Jock

Alright, so after breaking these situations down step-by-step, what’s next? What are some specific strategies healthcare providers can take away from this?

jeremy

Good question. To start, one of the most effective approaches is focusing on proactive communication. This means setting clear expectations from the outset—whether that's with patients, their families, or your own team. It’s about transparency, early on, to avoid confusion or frustration later.

Jock

Which, let’s be honest, rarely happens in the middle of chaos. But, okay, suppose you're already in a heated moment. Then what?

jeremy

That’s where de-escalation strategies come in. First, remember that tone is everything. Lowering your voice can help de-escalate tension almost immediately. People instinctively mirror the energy they’re receiving, so if you stay calm, there’s a better chance they will too.

Jock

So, basically, no shouting matches?

jeremy

Exactly. And beyond tone, word choice matters. Avoid phrasing that might come off as dismissive or defensive. Instead, focus on validating the other person’s feelings. A simple ‘I understand how frustrating this must be’ can diffuse a lot of tension upfront.

Jock

Right... but what if they’re still not calming down? What’s next?

jeremy

Then you’ve got to shift focus tactically. One method I recommend is called 'redirecting.' It’s about steering the conversation toward solutions rather than the conflict itself. For example, you might ask, ‘What can I do right now to make this better for you?’

Jock

So, it’s like flipping the script—moving from problem to problem-solving?

jeremy

Exactly. It channels their energy into something productive. And if they’re still too upset to engage constructively, active listening becomes your best tool. Sometimes just repeating back what they’ve said—without judgment—can help them feel heard and start to de-escalate.

Jock

Okay, but what about managing your own emotions? Like, what if you feel like you’re about to lose it?

jeremy

That’s the trickiest part, isn’t it? But this is where grounding techniques, like deep breathing or focusing on a specific detail in the environment, come into play. What works for me is counting my breaths—

Jock

One Mississippi, two Mississippi?

jeremy

Yeah! something like that. It gives your brain a moment to recalibrate, so you don’t react impulsively. And honestly, that tiny pause can make all the difference in how you approach the situation.

Jock

Alright, but let’s be real—this sounds great in theory. Actually practicing it in the moment sounds... overwhelming?

jeremy

That’s fair. It does take practice, which is why I always suggest starting small—low-stakes interactions. Try active listening during a casual chat, or practice pausing before replying during minor disagreements. Build those habits first.

Jock

Oh, so like a conflict fitness routine? Start with the lightweight stuff and work your way up?

jeremy

That’s a great analogy. The more you practice with the mundane, the more intuitive it becomes in high-stress situations. Ultimately, these strategies are about staying in control, both of the situation and yourself.

Jock

Alright, so taking all that into account, what do you think stands out most? What’s the key takeaway here?

jeremy

Well, for one, we’ve seen just how central emotional awareness is to managing conflict effectively. Whether it’s understanding the amygdala's hijack or the importance of staying grounded, it starts with knowing yourself.

Jock

And then there’s the power of pause—honestly, that one’s underrated. Just giving yourself a second can completely shift your reaction, which can stop a situation from spiraling.

jeremy

Exactly. And we can't forget Dunlap's emphasis on proactive communication—setting clear expectations early and being transparent to reduce confusion before it even starts.

Jock

Yeah, because so much of the conflict, especially in healthcare, just seems to come from people feeling like they’re not being heard or understood.

jeremy

Right. That’s why active listening is such a cornerstone. Just repeating back what someone’s said, without judgment, can be enough to de-escalate tensions in the moment.

Jock

And then there’s the practical stuff—like tone and word choice. Everyone responds to calmness, even if they don’t realize it at first.

jeremy

Exactly. By staying intentional with both your words and your energy, you can guide even the most heated moments toward resolution.

Jock

Okay, but let’s not forget—this is hard work. Like, no one’s perfect at this, are they?

jeremy

No, not at all. It takes consistent effort and practice, starting with the low-stakes moments so it becomes instinctive when it matters most.

Jock

You know, like we said before, it’s definitely about putting in the effort and practice, but it’s amazing how understanding the brain and using practical strategies can completely shift how we handle these stressful moments.

jeremy

Absolutely. And, honestly, it’s such an important conversation to have. Healthcare is as much about navigating human emotions as it is about science and technique. And if we’re better equipped to handle those difficult moments, it benefits everyone—patients and providers alike.

Jock

Right. And speaking of moments, next episode, we’re tackling a big one: sensory overload. I mean, the ED, with its bright lights, loud noises, and constant movement, can be an absolute nightmare for autistic patients.

jeremy

Yes, and we’ll be discussing what we as healthcare providers can do to make that environment more autism-friendly—small changes that can make a big impact.

Jock

So, yeah, definitely one to listen in on, because making healthcare more inclusive and compassionate is something we all need to focus on.

jeremy

Agreed. And for now, thank you all for tuning in today. It’s always great to have these conversations, and we hope you found it helpful—

Jock

Or at least entertaining!

jeremy

That too. Take care, everyone, and we’ll catch you next time.